Friday, January 9, 2015

I Met an Angel

"Oh.... I believe there are angels among us

Sent down to us from somewhere up above
They come to you and me in our darkest hours
To show us how to live, to teach us how to give
To guide us with the light of love"

Believe it, or not, I have met an angel. 

I'm in NO way really religious, or even remotely religious. However, I, without a doubt, believe in angels. I'm not talking about a "figure" with wings nor a "spirit" that no one else can see. When I say angel, I mean a completely selfless, genuine, giving, good-spirited person; not someone who does good for recognition or to make themselves feel better. Someone who see good in everything, and everyone. 

With that being said, I've met an angel. I was blessed enough to have her in my life for sixteen years, two months, and one day- time that will NEVER be long enough. 

This woman that I'm speaking of was more kind-hearted, loving, and forgiving than ANYONE else that I have met in my twenty-one years of life. She never spoke ill of anyone, even though she may have had every reason to. She showed more inner strength than I knew possible. Not maybe people can be dealt the cards that she was, and rise above being a better, NOT bitter, person. She saw past the wrong in anyone, and saw the good- the important. This is the woman who taught me about love and forgiveness. 

I saw her struggle physically and mentally, but never without a smile on her face. She had an unwavering faith, even through her hardest of trials. She gave the purest of he2/r self, and the purest love to her family that I've ever witnessed. I'm not saying she was a saint, but I'd say, if one could be a saint in this world- she'd be the closest person to it. She taught me strength. 

"She" was Lois Irene Hilghman; my bestfriend, my role model, my hero, and, most importantly, my MIMI. Mimi impacted my life in ways that no one, other than my daughter, could EVER measure up to. She is the reason I did the best I could growing up; the reason I have a good head on my shoulder; the reason that I give up when life utterly sucked. Making her proud, and seeing her smile was enough to keep me going. She loved her family, and was extremely proud of us, all of us- mistakes included. She never once judged or said an ill word in my presence. She was a pure soul... an angel.

I say was because, almost four years ago, this month... I watched my best friend take her last breath. I still remember it like it was yesterday, my dad and uncle telling her that it was okay to let go and to "Let go and Let God". I cried, as I had been all weekend... Our eyes meet and I see her shed a single tear. I felt I HAD to be the one to let her know it was okay... that I would be okay. I bent down, kissed her forehead and as I stood back up, she took her last breath. Nightmares haunted me for weeks, and sometimes still do... I said "Goodbye" to my angel, and I wish I didn't have to. 

As selfish as it is, to have wanted her to stay, I was blessed enough to have her as long as I did; to have her instill the things in me that she carried within herself. She gave me memories and love that, as a child, I couldn't find elsewhere. Never once did I question her love for me, unlike many others that I doubt. She loved to the purest, that even I couldn't question it, and I question everything- so, that says something. 

I was blessed enough to meet, and love, an angel.

Rest Easy Mimi
I Love You Forever**